New York Complaint choir.

What a great idea, right!? I might be inspired enough to write one about the DONX.Lol. See below a sneak preview thanks to http://www.post.thing.net .!

Public performances of the NYC Complaints Choir will occur over the next several months. Keep your ears peeled and consult the New Wilderness Foundation website. I might even post the occasional update here. You got a problem with that?

Here then, ready or not, willing or not, foaming at the mouth, kicking and screaming, is the NYC Complaints Choir, lyrics contributed by a bunch of pissed off New Yorkers, compiled by Marc Nasdor and Alan Licht, song composed by Alan Licht, ©2008 New Wilderness Foundation. Can I get a witness?

New York City is not a part of the USA
New York should be an independent country
People whack my kid in the face with their bags on the subway
Babies—there’s a place for them. It’s called Nebraska!

It’s ridiculously hot and it’s not even June
The person next to me is singing out of tune
My full service building is nowhere near that
All the streets got repaved except for mine

Why can’t I get a taxi in the rain?
JFK Airport is too far away
My boyfriend always gets a little pee on the floor
Construction workers pee right outside of my door

Please wear longer shorts to the gym
I don’t want to know you all that well
Men, please close your legs in the subway
So others can have some space to sit

New Yorkers are always thinking out loud
Why can’t I have a robot clean my house?
People always throw trash on the ground
When there’s a trash can two feet away

I never get to be / home alone
Because my roommate is always there
Drivers don’t care about bicyclists
Everybody acts like they are an expert

Times Square looks like a strip mall
Bleecker Street looks like Palm Beach
Tourists get in my way on the sidewalk
You can’t tell if someone hates you just by looking

There’s so much to do here
But no money to do it with
Long Islanders think they are New Yorkers
But they are not

Doctors in Manhattan
Are much more interested
In my wallet
Than my health

I wanted Harlem to get better
Not unrecognizable
My local market was torn down
To build a luxury hotel

The landlord never makes
Any repairs
But he still expects the rent
To be paid on time

Why is it illegal
To own a flamethrower?
It’s almost 10pm
And I’m still in the office

I hate working
But I hate being broke even more
The prices all go up
But I don’t get a raise

My son’s fake ID
Looks nothing like him
My husband doesn’t like
Any of my friends

People who never
Use deodorant
Always stand next to me
On the subway

The subway platform is too hot
And the subway car is too cold
Only women stand up
And give their seats to the elderly

Why do cabbies talk
On their cell phones throughout the ride?
Rudolph Guiliani
Still exists

Pushcart bagels are the worst
Plastic bags end up in trees
The weather is too good
There are too many trailers before a movie

I am thirty-six
Why do I still have acne?
Whatever I do
It’s never enough

SUV’s clog the city streets
Really? Do you work on a farm?
Are you delivering supplies to a third world country?
Probably not

You pay too much for what should be free
Who started monogamy?
Poor people always get the shaft
How did I ever get so fat?

I can hear bad music from my neighbors
But I can’t hear them having sex
My boyfriend farts loudly when we’re in bed
College students vomit right on my doorstep

A long line of ants crossed my bedroom floor
You can’t buy wine in the grocery store
Cranes are falling out of the sky
Car alarms keep me awake every night

When I open a door for myself
Somebody else always plows right through
No one makes eye contact with me
Or even notices that I exist

(Spoken)
“Ok, we know we’ve been complaining for a while, but there’s 12 more things we want to complain about, with your kind indulgence, ready?”

No public bathrooms
Old ladies at Whole Foods
Preachers on the subway
Cars in the bike lane
Cashier tip jars
Anonymous hate blogs
Slow elevators
Global warming deniers
Manorexic hipsters
Yelling on your cell phone
I never got a pony
Rudolph Giuliani

No public bathrooms
Old ladies at Whole Foods
Preachers on the subway
Cars in the bike lane
Cashier tip jars
Anonymous hate blogs
Slow elevators
Global warming deniers
Manorexic hipsters
Yelling on your cell phone
I never got a pony
Rudolph Giuliani,

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