I’m a true believer that if you can make a positive difference to one person, then you’ve done a whole lotta good in this world where uncertainity rules and people love to bitch and are full of jealous people that are just out to help themselves.

The very class conscious Smizz, is a very grateful kid. I am.  I like to think that I try and not take anything for granted. Sometimes I do. But I’m always striving not to. I know things are fragile and never last forever. One day you have the house… the next you don’t. You’re friends for 14 years the next week you haven’t spoken for 2 years. You know. So this is a comprehensive list of all the people who have helped me, through the good and the bad times. Whom I have dragged down and also up. Who have and are still helping me to achieve my dreams and supported me and helped to get where I am today without asking nothing in return. Indeed sometimes these things are peoples jobs, but many times they have taken a chance, and gone beyond the point of duty. So here it is. If I miss anyone out. Much love and it wasn’t intentional.

Claire, my bestest friend of 14 years. I know we don’t talk anoymore and it has gone beyond the point where we can speak without it being awkward. But It was good times. You were there for all the shit. Like you saw it all, and never once did you disown me, instead you were always understanding. Holla.
Kezwilla – so stubborn but always there. Its coming up to 9 years baybe! representin the donx. Oh the great memories! the funniest big hearted personn you’ll ever meet
Carly! You’re my like my buddy of 16 years and we still goin’ gooood! I loved showing you round NYC summer 06. Lets do it again.
Pinky! Yo girl, I screwed you over big style but we’re still great friends. so understanding. word!
Drew, Wrafter, Charlie, Jayne, Jessbear, Dawno. We had amazing times in 6th form and the summer of 05/06. Memories 2 treasure. Most of us were the Management Team 2006. And we ruled!! We were like the worst management team, we did loads of amazing challenging different things, like murder mystery. The vote box, I got excluded for a petition for Non-Uniform day. And 6th form night where we made a mockumentary. Goooood times!

At Uni. I wanna rep.
Richie – Legend. regardless that he has the complex of an abused house wife and wakes me up at stupid o’clock. this dude is the man the legend.
Top-shop Sophie. I cant describe but roll on your amazing comments and your tuff love
Ella, kate partyyyyyyyy animals and yet caring but keepin it real. A party ain’t a party wid out you guys fo sheeeezy.
Amy – gotta love you and your cat. The house is never empty when you ahve all your hommies around.

Helen, amelia, richard, matt, last year was ace. I missour krazy ass philosophical deep chats

Phoebe– my rock, mybestest friend on my course, my inspiration and everything. Like the nicest person you WILL EVER meet. never a job 2 big or small for you/. ive never met a person with such good will in my way. Without Phoebe – i’dnever be able 2 get a tutorial at uni haha! She showed me the way :oP
James C – Rock rock rock on. Again the same a feebo, the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. Selfless. and a great graphic designer for a fine artist :p
Brendan – what would I do without your particularities with language? Genius and partyyyyyy rolller. the person you wanna be!
Dan and Jamie – the dancers, the artists, the great crew! Great friends to have!
Luke D – from liverpool – nuff said! Lol ;o) AMAZING cook!!!
Xanthe, Jess B and Anna – What would Uni be like wid out you 3? Lonely and quiet for sure!! It would be wellll boring without you guys. Keep rollin deep. Amazing kind people and artists

gareth – The most funniest person Ive ever met – that witty humour you’d wish you have. my London networker… when he comes out wid a London Art school degree i’ll be able 2 fend off his networks like a studio 54 whore.

Jo, oliver and Hannes from Toyworld. What would it have been like working for the Facists over summer/winter without you guys? That’s right… like natzi germany. Much love. we need 2 meet up soon!

Bethany, Hallie, Chris, Karolina, Justyna, Sandi, Jon, Joe, sNUGgly Bear, Miloszo, Wojktec, Griff etc – What would Camp USa be like without you guys? I’m not sure, it is because of you guys that made it such an amazing experience for me. It could have gone terribly wrong but went the complete opposite. much love always. maybe see you this summer? for a month . maybe not!

In terms of people who gone beyond their points of duty that helped me believe, took time out out of their way; supported stuff even if they weren’t aware what abig difference they were making goes here:

My mom,Horseboy and even my Nan and [kev]Dad.
Mom even though we havent had much you’ve always kept food on the table or something like it. Taught me how to make a dollar out of 16 cents. :oP You’ve taught me 2 be a stronge independant female and even though we’ve been through some shit, i’ve never gone without. You’ve always made sure that I’ve got what I wanted whether it took time or not. we got there. Even the bad stuff from Dad/Kev side of stuff- taught me how not 2 act.. and well just character building hmm?
Horseboy regardless we wind each other up. You’ve always got my back and ive got yours. at the end of the day. it’s going 2 be just us 2. and Im working hard to make sure we’ll be alright in the future.

Mr Neale. My year 9 science teacher. You were the first person who didnt make me feel like a complete retard. You gave me my first 1 on 1 attention in the work area. Taught me how to answer exams and gave me some much needed self esteem. You took me off the mad bad road where I was chillin wid shop lifters and drug dealers. You gave me something 2 look into. taught me that i could ask for help when I needed it and it was kool. Which was then helped along by
Mr Audley Allen. You gave me extra science lessons 2 try and help me get that A I wanted in my GCSEs. You took time out and I know that we had a kool teacher friendship that will stay with me for a long time.
Mr Christian Minshull – I’ll never forget you helping me from getting grade E coursework up to a A* In a matter of weeks. Just by inspiring me and helping build my confidence. Taught me how to writean essay properly and everything. You were the first person that made me really wanna do what I’m doing now. I wanted 2 be as smart as you and talk abut literature and art in that poetically passionate way that i’ve never heard anyone talk of a subject like that before.
Ms Jane Beardsley – If it wasn’t for you having a belief in my ideas and creativity and skills, I dont think id be as advanced as I was an artist. You gave me skills that enabled me 2 skip foundation level and join a degree fine art course a year earlier. You taught me howww to work it and let me stay behind and do my work because you knew I couldnt do it at home. and you’d give me a ride home when times were abit crap and i lived way out of the way!
Mr Jon Smith. Legend. Marxist inspirer all the way.

Then although it’s early days.
I wanna thank anyone who accepted me on to the 5 outta 6 university fine art courses that I applied for. You gave an A leveler a chance because you saw potential.
I wanna thank Andrew Sneddon – always busy but always makes sure he’ll stop wHAT he’s doing 2 listen and tries to help you out without being scary or patronizing. believes in what your doing yet inspires it big style.
My crit group dude from last year Dave Cotteral – inspired me just how you talked about work. Id have you for crit group aagain anyday!
Hester Reeve – Always takes your feelings into account and although these days always rushed off her feet she always as literally a second 2 try and encourage you.
Michael Corris – Did me a letter of Rec at the most inconvenient time I could have asked him to do it at. He still could have said no. He didn’t and I’ve never, ever had such thorough feedback so quick off a lecturer before! And he still did – A-SAP een though he knewww he was practically wasting his time- as if working class smizzle can get into the MoMA?! Totally well impressed. He is also, probably, the reason why i’ve got my other intern in NYC this summer. For someone who is so intergral to the artworld I just feel honoured you know?

And that leaves me up to now.

I am where I am, doing what I do, who I am and what I am thanks to all the above people. Regardless whether they are paid 85,000 a year to help me or just my friend or indeed my family. Sometimes its just the smallll guestures, the quick email, the concern that makes it so you think,” hey life if great”

great friends, amazing times.
this is to you.
thanks. The W.W.W. knows now. Holla

Published by smizz

Artist → Re-evaluating life→ Rad Oncology graduate + public health worker→ @lab4living PhD-er → Want 2 make a positive difference → Rule-Breaker → LIVE DRAWZ! → councillor! → Loves cities → rides fixie → adventures → wanna be ramen master → <3 Tokyo + NYC

2 thoughts on “Gratitude

  1. You know I scanned the entire thing and singled my name out before reading the rest.

    LOVING that I get my own paragraph.

    And ditto. I’ll be your London bitch but, Miss New York intern, know that I have very careful ears around you and I plan on following your footsteps over the atlantic.

    If I get through my first year.

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