Garden State

Now Garden State is in New Jersey and there’s that Zack Braff movie (which I totally digged for a while ). All those familair with the Garden State movie will know the plot of: “Andrew Largeman shuffled through life in a lithium-induced coma until his mother’s death inspired a vacation from the pills to see what might happen. A moderately successful TV actor living in Los Angeles, “Large” hasn’t been home to the Garden State in nine years. But even with 3,000 miles between them, he’s been unable to escape his domineering father Gideon and the silencing effect he’s had on his son from afar. Stunned to find himself in his hometown after such a long absence, Large finds old acquaintances around every corner living quite unique lives as gravediggers, fast food knights and the panderers of pyramid schemes. Meanwhile, at home, he does his best to avoid a long-simmering but inevitable confrontation with his father. By a twist of fate, Large meets Sam, a girl who is everything he isn’t. A blast of color, hope and quirks, Sam becomes a sidekick who refuses to ride in his sidecar. Her warmth and fearlessness give Large the courage to open his heart to the joy and pain of the infinite abyss that is life.” (stolen from IMDB.COM)

Well going home to the Donx, is a tiny bit like that movie. Minus the death of a mother who was disabled and being on Drugs.

But the return when you haven’t been around in years. And I mean when you haven’t been seen out and about in years.

This is where I live:

And this is my house.

Yup, I’m all council house. Fo’ shizzle!! Anyways, you can tell that it’s one of those neighborhoods that twitch the curtains when a new person walks down the street. To be gerred at as you walk down the street because you’re different. Tonight I went to watch my younger bro (horseboy) get a trophy for football.

I live in one of these communities. I’m not part of it, because obviously I live in Sheffo – and I’m classed as “weird”. When you come here, its like time has stopped. It’s great to see a community still exists but its stuck in itsways. You always see people who were in your year – and they’re working in the bar which used to be part time work for them. People give you dirty looks if you say your studying at uni – because they think you’re taking the piss out of their existence. Its hard stuff. I can’t explain it.

When I walk down the streets, there’s smells that aren’t present in Sheffield. The sun and the smell and certain walking routes makes me feel like i’m 15 again with hardly any cares in the world. I feel like I should go and get on my bike and go and call for Kezwilla, but she will be at work or getting pissed up just to get away from the stress of shit capitalistic work.

I know that this is Nostagia. But it dawns on me as I walk home from the working mans club. I don’t fit in here, and what happens if my plans of living in NYC or else where being an artist or a teacher don’t work out – where am I left? What am I left with?

At least they have each other right?

Published by smizz

I've had this blog since I was 17. I use it process thinking & work. It's changed with how my life has changed. Artist → Re-evaluating life→ Rad Oncology graduate + public health worker→ @lab4living PhD-er → Want 2 make a positive difference → Rule-Breaker → LIVE DRAWZ! → councillor! → Loves cities → rides fixie → adventures → wanna be ramen master → <3 Tokyo + NYC

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