A colleague/friend once told me not to be so precious about my rejections and criticisms as an artist. This is easier said than done. Especially if you’re the type of person who is rejected in alot of fields – love, art, banks lol etc.
I think this could apply to goodbyes too. I was sat in my near empty room the other night thinking about how alot of things are changing. All my friends on the BA course are now graduated and rocking their awesome degrees. My favourite tutor is leaving. My mom has a new boyfriend… Richie and Jen have their own house… and i’m left just doing the same ol’ same ol’. Sure I’m going to Chicago – but that’s it.
Things aren’t going to be the same again! The older I get, the more senstive I seem to get over these things. Leaving and moving on didn’t faze me in year 11… and nor did it really affect me in 6th form. But I felt it more in 6th form. And now. I feel it even more.
Who am I going to hang with when I go back to college? Who will I be able to get reassured from? Who can I have a laugh with and bitch about lol?
This is life telling me that nothing ever stands still. Nothing is ever certain and that you should always do what you love, what you must do and what you dream of doing. Allow nothing to stand in your way, or hold you back because ultimately it’s just you at the end. People move on themselves… put themselves first – so it’s important that you do to. Never stay around for a lover. Never be needy. Do something because you want to, not because you need to. And remember money is a means, not an end.
In this economic climate i think it’s excessively important that you dont get crushed by the darkness and the dream crushes. Hope is all we have. Friendship is important. And if you can make sure you can keep intouch with friends by any means possible – then you must. Because the road is a lonely path, but if you have friends along the way – you’ll have a gas at even the things that seemed problematic.
Nothing’s changed, yet everything has changed. What else can I say? You have to live for the moment because you don’t know when it’s the end.