my writing sucks

Most people want to pursue something that they’re good at. Well it’s obvious isn’t it? Why would you want to do something you hated…. and the things you enjoy the most tend to be the things you’re good at!

Well not for me. I want to be an artist of consequence. Indeed. I also would like to be an art writer. The latter is problematic.

I’m here at 1:31am literally pulling at my hair at my own disbelief. I’m like yo smizz? what cha playin’ at dude! Youcan’t fucking write! Get Over YOUR SELF. it’s cringeworthy to even ask people to help me because they’ll be like – god this kid is deluded. Then it becomes embarassing.

But then I have to ask myself? Why write when I clearly I have problems with it? My grammar is disgraceful and I can’t spell well (this has a history – see past blogssuch as my lack of a high school career and homelessness and poverty). I can’t help thinking that my serve circumstances are the some of the reasons (of course there are people out there who have had worse upbringings and are genius’s) why I am struggling to find my own voice within a crowded field of pretentious middle class academics. where’s the passionate stuff at! Why can’t it be somewhat conversational? 

They say practice and reading lots helps. This is a lie. If anything, i feel like i’m getting worse. It’s awful. It’s a horrible feeling knowing tha you’d like to do something but you can’t do it, no matter how much time you put into something.

Arrggggghhhhhhhh!! It’s so frustrating.

Sorry for this emo post, just had to get it out there.

to make up for it:

here you go!

Check this book, close your eyes, and you’re in NYC…

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Store Front – The Disappearing Face of New York, by James & Karla Murray, published by Gingko

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