I hate it.
It’s not so much the job, but the idea of complete waste of my time. Like the fact my life is only worth £5.77 an hour. My life is, i feel, my time is worth so much more. And it’s not that this job benefits my Being. If anything it merely corrupts it.
I work in a betting shop. What does that say to me? Gambling addicts, cruelty to animals, robberies, desperation and on occasion, excessively lucky people. Who wants to deal in that? What is more, I’m not even that good at math and there are like 100 different types of bets!
But money is money, i suppose. It’s the repurcussions of having the most amazing time in NYC. There has to be a pay back (as in payback into my bank balance). And I’m going travelling somewhere in September.
It’s just the time and energy this job takes. Im knackered (an accumulation of very very late nights and early starts + working over the week and I only got back on Saturday) so when I do have some time when I come home, I really wanna re-read the Relational Asethetics. And I can’t be arsed. I can’t even be bothered to look at pictures in the Matta-Clark book I got. I want to finish Art as Art – Ad Reinhardt’s writings, to help inspire the continuation of writing my Art Dogmas for myself. I started writing a review on Spencer Finch’s exhibition at the Lisson Galley, London but I was left feeling demotivated and sucky from my inability to hold even a linear thought.
I can’t even be bothered to watch a film. I’m just going 2 sleep 2moz, and hope productivity follows. I’m planning to really start on something. Whether that be a continuation on my dissertation, or some developement in my practice (including research), finishing the review or just reading the above books. A trip 2 the movies is definately on the agenda, I need to use my Cineworld card since I haven’t used it for a month +.
However being in this store does allow me a great amount of time to think about my art practice, but at the end of the day that is all it is. A bunch of thoughts not really going anywhere, not really doing anything.
” an hour of my life is worth 5.50, and I’m supposed to feed a child
scream if you’re with me!! ”
I don’t think slavery was ever abolished. Why should they pay for your rent, your food and medical?? They merely decided that it was cheaper to renting my friends!!