When We Went to London Last Weekend…

Yes. Pheobe, Richie and myself went to London – Pheobe wanted to do some hardcore gallerying – I just wanted to do some galleries and see 2 exhibitions inparticular. And then just go with the flow. Richie misinterpreted our weekend. He thought it was going to be all about Gareth – the St Martins student/best friend -who was kind enough to let us all stop at his diggs.
So we were all there. Being completely different. Now important to note: Pheobe is pretty neurotic when it comes to galleries. she plans in advance, and everything! Im the type of person that likes to galleries- but im not too fused so long as ive seen some good stuff. Id rather see 2 good exhibitions than 10 shit ones ya know?
Because we were all poor, and i need to renew my Young Persons Railcard, we went on the Coach. Except Richie’s abit like a small child and thinks that he gets motion sickness + wants to be entertained all the time. [ and he had holey shoes on]
So we gets to London, and Feeb’z like, ” You can’t walk around London in holey shoes that are worse than tramps! Lets go and get you some” Richie’s like, ” can we go to the bathroom because I really need it.”
On the way to a bathroom a women grabs Pheobe and gives her a manicure- Richie runs for the bathroom – i go with richie (i need the bathroom +n dont want a manicure) i go in. I come out. NO richie. SOmetime later Pheobe turns up – goes to the bathroom , comes out. Still no Richie. We wait for a long while and he comes out. (of the bathroom – not ingeneral lol)
So we get a tube to Oxford street – go to footlocker… when Richie leansover to me and says, ” Can we go to a bathroom…”
I’m like, ” we’ve only just been!”
Richie’s turns around and says, ” I can’t help it, ive got the shits and i think i’ve poo’d myself!!”#
I find this hilarious. After wasting our time in Footlocker- he decides that he’s never paid more than a 10er for some sneakers [and it shows]
We go in Primark so Richie can buy hisself some new underware and a jumper.
When we get out of Primark, he has the audasity to ask for a classy bathroom – but its urgent. In the middle of London? yeahhh right, at the time the closest bathroom is KFC. So we sneak in and richie uses them. He comes out totally changed- but with a sense of acomplishment.
He announces to us all – with pure pride in his voice – that he has just left his shitty underwear in the fastfood resturant KFC bathroom.

At first I was disgusted but then I said… you should have waited and put them in TATE MODERN bathroom – everybody would have thought that it was art.

Can I just state that richie is near 21 in March. And he’s still shitting hisself even though he went to the bathroom. [and wafted shitty paper under the door to the people urinating.]
Not quite kezwilla – but the male alternative to her.

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